Simply Complicated

It seems like these days, things are just a lot more complicated. Naturally, life complicates as we get older, but what I’m talking about is more of a material complexity and not the legal or emotional issues that come with it.

Have you notice that a lot of us are consumed by stuff?

I am not a rich girl by any means, but it seems like the more crap I have/get,(with the exception of books) the more unhappy I am. I have all of my soap making equipment, books, clothes, makeup that are really minimal to what I’ve seen in my friend’s houses and yet I feel totally overwhelmed. Gluttonous even.

I have a medium sized Sephora gift bag that doubles as my make up case and I really don’t wear that much make up. I have cleansers and potions lined up in my medicine cabinet, below the sink and along the tub. Being naturally indecisive, I love the option of things, but I remember a time where I blissfully happy when I was able to purchase my own bubble bath from Rite Aid. For the bargain price of $3.99, my mold-ridden, broken-tiled bathroom became a spa oasis. I was Cleopatra, bathing my personal lagoon filled with milky bubbles, which was a nice contrast to my murky, gray surroundings.

Living with my father, we were definitely living at poverty level. My clothes were all hand-me-downs from various strangers and before I started working, I never had the luxury of any luxury. Bar of soap and 1 bottle of shampoo was what I had in the bathroom – and we are talking about 1995 here. There was no such thing as condition for a girl who nearly had hair down to her back. It was only when I started working at fifteen that I supplied myself with girly things (and food, but that’s another story). Not that I was making beaucoup bucks then, but if I bought myself something nice, let’s say a $5 L’Oreal lipstick, I was over the moon and used said lipstick till it was a little nub. And that went for everything perfume, nail polishes (oh god, I think that I was my only real collection then, was a bunch of little $.99 nail polish bottles). I used the items till they were GONE or destroyed and I guess because I didn’t have much of a choice.
When I would get paid, I would take a bus to Hoboken to my favorite chic-chic aromatherapy store to buy candles. Since they were expensive, I don’t remember buy too many at a clip – maybe 1 with a holder. Anyway, I remember how magical it felt to light up a small $6 votive. The room filled with its sweet, dark berry scent and its light warmed me right down to my core, so much that the warmth of the memory still exists with me today. Sometimes I think back to those days and long to recreate that feeling.

Now a days, I feel like I’ve gone on a gluttonous binge without the happy novelty side-effects. I buy a lipstick, or expensive eye shadows (these days it’s not Wet and Wild anymore), and although the product is better and I just cannot seem to conjure the same feelings of the past. Sure, swiping on that brand-new lipstick may make me feel glamorous for a minute, but the novelty quickly fades away. New products seduce me rather quickly and all of my older products take a back seat or fall down the rabbit hole. Our society is driven by the whole “Bigger is Better” and we are always looking for the next big thing. I feel like it’s ruining me, ruining my enthusiasm for anything. It’s so unfortunate because I realize often how blessed I am to be where I am. It isn’t big by anyone’s standard… I believe median at a national level, but I can buy whatever the heck I want without really making any real sacrifice and what I mean by REAL, I mean sacrificing food and shelter – not a night at the movies.
Although my collection of things are smaller than what I’ve seen at other people’s houses, I feel like certain aspects of my life are getting out of hand like my make up collection. I don’t even wear that much makeup, much less go out to really need a peacock blue eye shadow, I became a fragrance whore once I was able to afford Bath and Body Works, but my tastes have evolved towards the more refined scents of Chanel No. 5 and Christian Dior. Not that I have many of those either, but I can tell you I have more than two coupled with other body sprays and roll on oils and other skin fresheners. The sad part is that I have many half-used perfumes and body sprays and it will probably take me years of daily use to actually finish them.

Although I don’t nearly collect as much stuff as most people (from what I have seen), I feel like my own excesses are just downright inexcusable. Gluttony has certainly prevailed, just look at all of the people who just buy stuff on credit, buy houses that are now being foreclosed, have closets filled with clothes that still have the tags on them. Maybe this recession isn’t so bad. I wonder if it’ll change our way of thinking possibly reversing this mess, reversing our thinking and force us to be more appreciative of what we already have.

-sk