Now tell me baby what I have to do to make you see what you mean to me.

I don't know what else to do to show my love for you

Tell me what makes her so much better than me?

Tell me something baby, does she still mean the world to you????

What do I have to do for you to notice me?

Do I have to lay on my back for you to know I am there???

Now tell me baby is an hour enough for you?

Cuz I want to spend every waking moment with you.

I see my life passing by while I sit here and wait for you.

You just don't see what I do for you, I push my friends away for you.

I don't know anything about you, I feel like you hide from me.

Now tell me baby, can you hear me when I cry at night?

All I want to do is just hold you tight.

I want to fight for you, and make you happier than you have ever been.

Tell me baby, am I just a friend, or can I be more.

Now tell me baby what do I have to do to make you love me?

To make you spend all your time with me?

Tell me, would you change for me???

All I want for you is to be happy, I just want to give you the world baby.

Now tell me baby, would you stop pushing me away and shout to the would I am your girl?

Tell me baby do you believe in me? would you fight till the end for me?

We talk about everything but can we talk about you and me?

Can I tell you I love you, and would you tell me I love you too?

Now tell me baby do you remember our first time together??

I remember when I would screamed your name , and you said hold it steady baby.

Tell me baby would you be happy with me being your only girl???

Can you handle us together or let me go forever?

Now tell me baby what's it gonna be?

This is a desperate cry from me!

Poem By:

Luscious L.

I can't believe it's been a yeah already, time is just flying by. I don't even remember the last time I wrote a blog. Anyway let me update you on what's been going on with me, I hope everyone's sitting down. lol ;0) Ok So It's been a crazy year for me. I think I've changed so much, I'm still the same sweet, lovable Luisa you've grown to love I just see everything in a whole new light. I grew some huge Cojones! lol I used to be scared of taking chances and going for it but recently I've looked fear in the face and went for it anyway. I've done things I would have never done on my own. I also love myself a little more, I don't know about you but I think I'm fucking BOSS! lol Anyway I learned to appreciate all the good things I have in my life. I know sometimes you take things for granted but nothing good last forever. I think the death of someone makes you realize how you shouldn't hold grudges, just love those who love you and appreciate them while they are here with us cuz you never really know when you'll see them again. I've gotten hurt, shocked and felt like I wanted to die but I'm stronger than what I gave myself credit for. Always keep your head up no matter what because pain doesn't last forever. I've also gotten my self in lots of trouble but that's nothing new. ;0) lol I also left American Express. I know! SHOKING! lol After three years I would never have thought I would leave that place! lol I started working for Columbia University which I really liked, I loved working with so many great people. Some of the people these were so nice and sweet to me, they made me laugh till I fell over. It was a complete different atmosphere then Amex. The only thing I hated about Columbia were the hours, I hated working so late and getting home at 2am, It just wasn't for me. So after three months, I left and started working for a catering company in Hackensack, but that didn't last long. And just like that the year is over. Its been a hard year but I'm always grateful everything and everyone in my life. So the new year started and I got laid off, but I'm ok with that. New year, new start, new beginning. The hard part is letting go of some of the old stuff but I'll be ok. I know this year will be a lot different, A whole lot of new. I can't wait. I'll try to write a little more when I can.

I wish you no harm, nothing but that best, and all the happiness in the world. ( You know who you are)

That's all I've got for now! :)

~ Weezy

10/30/10

Inspiration

I was looking for some inspiration lately, something to write about but there is nothing I can say or maybe nothing I really want to talk about. Nothing much has changed really. Tried to quit my job with no success. Every time I try to quit they find a way to make me doubt myself and stay. My diet didn’t last long either. I eat like I’m trying to fill a hole that is definitely not hunger. I keep trying to change something , maybe even trying to change myself, but everything seams strangely the same. When someone breaks you heart, when you lose something special, when someone dies, the world doesn’t care. The sun will still rise again tomorrow and the earth will keep rotating like it always did. The world stops for no one, even when you think the world is over for you.
I’ve been trying to be very cautious. Slow baby steps if you will. Maybe I’m making a big mistake by letting something good pass me by but I’m scared. Maybe I’m just not ready, but mostly scared to have my heart disappointed again. I rather take my caution and stay behind and admire from afar. If you truly love someone, then the only thing you want for them is to be happy....even if its not with you. I’m far beyond repair so maybe the best thing for me to do is step back and let others be happy.
I know life’s not perfect so I’m trying to look beyond all the bad shit and stay positive. I have a new outlook this year, even when shit is falling apart around be I refuse to lay down in defeat. I’m determined to move along with the flow just to get thru the day with some hope . I know most day I fake it but I’m determine to fake it till I make it. I recently joined the gym and I’m gonna work that into my dull existence till I get used to that being a part of my daily routine. I got a nook so I’ve been reading more often, a good distraction you could say. Although the books I choose to read pick at my unhealed wounds a little. I’ve always been a little masochistic and that still hasn’t change. I still find a way to have my heart beating 10000 mph. I could always find a ways to indulge myself but I always know it will always end up hurting me, painful pleasure it you will.
I refuse to hate because that word had never been in my vocabulary and I refuse to regret because how can you regret something that once made you soo happy. I now only believe in going forward and hoping time would make it easier to breathe and move on. No point in looking back with all the pointless what if’s. No matter what happens now what’s done is done and what’s said is said. Nothing will ever change the past all you can do is except it and keep on moving forward………
　
One baby step at a time,

Weezy

xoxox

AFTER THE STORM!

I've been up and down and upside down for so long that now that I'm standing straight I can't tell the difference. I'm out of the water but I still can't breathe. Everything is broken in pieces but it was never whole in the first place. The tears used to fall on the outside and now they fall within. Everything is in its place, nothing is missing but nothing seems right. I was hanging on a noose tiptoeing on hope but that was pulled from under me. I used to have nothing and now I have less. You want to disappear but the spot light is on you so you cant even hide. The mask is on, so from the outside the structure seems whole but inside there is nothing but chaos. Sometimes I still feel caught up in the storm like a phantom pain that lingers from the past. Afraid to move cuz you'll fall. Afraid to yell because nothing might come out. Afraid of the memories that haunt you, but terrified to lose them because that's all you've got now. I hold my breath because I’m afraid you’ll see my heart pounding thru my chest. Afraid to lose composure and breakdown. Time is no longer relevant, because you're stuck in the hands of time. The ride stopped but I keep spinning. So what can you say or what can you do when its all said and done? Its my fault for jumping into a whirlpool with nothing to old on to. The after effect are still going on so every wind knocks me back down. So many people around but I'm still alone. Something that I once seemed so sure to lose is now finally gone. There is nothing else to fear when everything you feared finally came true. Now that the storm is over I should be at peace but the storm is all I've know and all I've lived.

Patiently waiting for the sunshine after the rain.............

Weezy

Insanities

Lets toast to moving on for a better 2010!

Hmmmm so where to start??? I’m not quite sure what happened or how I got here but something happened then everything started spinning out of control and the next thing you know we’re in 2010! Funny how one thing leads to another and things just go from bad to worse. I’m not one to broadcast my problems nor do I like when people get involve in things that are none of their business, but that’s what I think happened here. Some with good intentions try and help and others get in the way with their own conniving agendas. I know must of us are grown so they don’t need me to tell them what to do or who to see or who to talk to. Must people can come to their own conclusions as to what’s right and wrong, just like people can chose to believe what they want. I don’t want to get into too much details but contrary to believes there is nothing I’ve done that I wouldn’t do again nor anything crazy enough that anyone I know wouldn’t do. Its funny that someone who’s done worse has the audacity to judge me. Trust me I’m not smart enough to break into or hack into anything, nor I’m I that desperate for someone who really after so many years thinks I’m this monster. If a supposed friend was calling me insane than maybe she’s the one with questionable morals. I’m not the one being caught in a web of lies. Someone who’s so oblivious to what’s she’s doing its kinds sad really. I have NOTHING to hide or lie about and It’s true that you never really know someone but there are those people that I would trust with my life and those that I would never give a second chance to. I rather have one person in my life that I can trust with my life than have 200 “friends”. If there’s one thing that 2009 has tough me is to listen to my guts and go with my instinct because nothing is what it seems. I would never go and purposely hurt or lie to someone I cared about. My only sin was maybe caring for someone too much, and I tried to get away and run but you were always the one to bring me back. You were the one that create this “monster” so why blame me for your doing? Why not let me go like I try to do so many times? All I wanted was to be left alone so I can move on. I just want to leave all this stupid nonsense behind and move on. Everyone has their own drama. their own problems, and its always easier to see and solve someone else’s problems, but I’m a grown as woman that can deal with her own issues. Lets be grown ups here cuz I’m not out there talking shit about anyone nor do I go around convincing people you’re the devil. It’s sad that it all had to come to this but now I know who’s who. So lets stop with all the bull shit nonsense and move on. There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with the people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy. So lets stop the cruelty and you dont have to believe or agree with me but all i'm asking for is to be left alone. Thanks and have a wonderful life.

Luisa M. Gonzalez

Nada es para Siempre

I cant believe Thanksgiving is over and now just a few more weeks till Christmas. The older you get the faster time seems to fly. I had a great Thanksgiving not only because I didn’t have to cook but because I got to see family I haven’t seen in a long time. Its so easy to lose touch with people and at the same time regain that friendship with someone you haven’t seen in a long time. Holidays can be though , sometimes it doesn’t matter how many family and friends are around you sometimes you cant help it but feel alone. Its not that you don’t feel grateful but more like you’re missing something, with brings me to this next question. Can you lose something you never really had?? Or should it hurt less losing something if you never really had it? Well I don’t know people say you make your own happiness but something’s are out of our control. People do and feel things that are not logical but how do you stop that? How do you not feel possessive over someone who’s not your’s? How do you regain trust in someone who you once cared about?? Sometimes I wish I could go back to where times were simpler but knowing what I know now I wouldn’t go back for anything. I’ve learned time were not simpler but more like I was blind and it just seemed that way, besides I think I’m stronger and wiser now. Its sad to say but something’s will ever be the same. I’m not 100% there yet but I’ve been making great progress. Yes I relapse now and them, but sometimes I just cant help myself. I’m just waiting for time to do its things. You cant move on when the source of your problem lingers around you, the best time is to move on and let them go. I'm just waiting till i'm finally free till I no longer have to feel guilty and empty every time someone else is lying next to me. I cant wait till I finally close this chapter, and I can finally move on. No pain last forever, now if I can only fast forward till then…………

New Years Resolution; Stop thinking with my heart and be a little more rational when it comes to matters of the heart!

Just remember, Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes back around.

This chapter is now closed.

Till next time

Weezy

xoxo

Drama Free Life

Another Angry Blog! This is just part of my anger management program. Because I rather write than beat the shit out of someone! Oh and because I write my best work when I‘m angry and alone in my head! Not that I’m angry or anything! ;o)~ lol

Ok this is it! And only cuz I know you’ve been waiting for this so you can over analyze it or misinterpret it to your liking, but honestly I don’t give a shit what you think so here it is. My weapon of mass destruction, because I know it drives you crazy not knowing what I’m really thinking right??? And because my writing always have a double meaning to it ;o) lol So here it is:

I should have been an actress, I wanna be front and center stage! Give me lights, I wanna put on a show! I wanna be the star, a diva! but I don’t want to play the protagonist, the victim. I wanna play the villain, the bitch the bad one! They always have the most fun! Like I say a good girl is only a bad girl that never gets caught! ;o)~ See my problem is I’m very indecisive, I change my mind a thousand times a day(Same with my emotions). My other problem is that I never finish what I started. I do shit half way or just never finish or fully commit to something. Here is my last problem. I can be a little too nice. I rather not tell you the truth because knowing me I wanna spare your feeling or some shit like that. I’m quite and I like to watch people. My favorite(People I fucking loath) are people that create drama and drown themselves in it. They like to put themselves in the middle of the drama even if the drama is not even about them. They like the attention, they like to play the victim and have everyone feel sorry for them. These are also the easiest people to torture, just give them drama that they cant solve and see how easily they step back. We are all grown ups here so we all make mistakes. No one is perfect, I sometimes act irrational or out of anger but I know right from wrong and I can always right my wrongs. I know the company I keep, my closest friends, my enemy, my family, people I can trust. But truth is that you never really know someone. Just like you’ll never know why you love certain people , why we do the stupid things we do, why you could never love someone, why you hate the little things people do or why is it so easy to judge other people’s problems but your own. Unless you’ve walked on someone else’s shoes you’ll never really know. We all see and react to things differently. Like I said in the beginning I change my mind a thousand times a day, so leave me the fuck alone, and let me be angry so that I can hate you for my own irrational reasons. Tomorrow is a new day so ask me again how I feel, who knows I might love you again tomorrow. Let me be who I wanna be, let me act how I wanna act. Just let me be me, Irrational, emotional and crazy me. If you don’t like it than let me go and let me move on with my life. I can’t and wont explain myself as well as I wont apologies for my actions or my emotions. I’m a trouble maker so I’m giving you a jail free card. Run for your life and never look back. I wish you the best of luck and I know you’ll understand and thank me one day. There’s only so much a girl can take before she gets it but I’ve finally got it and I know myself. I wont be able to take or endure much of this so I’m running too. Far away from you were I can find my sanity and get over you. Nothing would be quite the same. This would be a new chapter, a new adventure. I’m gonna be just fine. I’m gonna learn to be more cautious. Also learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes and be careful what I say. But most Importantly who I say things too and who I trust. I gotta say I lost respect for a few people and their stupid judgment. That’s it! Take that as you will. That’s all I got for now.

For a better and drama free tomorrow.

Simply me!

Weezy

xoxo

Just Like Before

What can I say that I haven’t said before? What else can I try that I haven’t tried before? What else can I make you see that you haven’t seen before? What mistakes can I avoid that I’ve made before? I don’t want you any less but time’s been cruel. I am as confused as I was a few months before. There’s nothing I want more than you. But selfishly wanting you this bad is what’s gotten me here before. I can let you into my bed at night because I can close my eyes but not my heart. I can sit here and lie to myself but at the end of the day I’m the one that ends up wanting more. What’s the point of me telling you that your that one I want when it’s gotten me nowhere before? Teach me how you do it so I don’t feel this way anymore. Show me how to walk away at night with no regard for my emotions. As much as its killing me to have you so close and not have you, I will NOT just let it be like before.


Weezy

Turning 26!

Just another blog for old time sakes!

So I'm turning 26 in a few days and like most people getting older is something I really don't look forward to. You would think life would get easier but in reality it just gets more complicated. Being a grown up sucks! I graduated college and you would think this was a big deal because I would have a better job with bigger opportunities but that hasn't happened yet. I work just to pay my school loans and endless bills. Work is the same old shit, just another broken record! I also gave up on the Idea of finding that kind of story book fairytale true love! It just doesn't exist! Looking back at everything Its not that my feelings have changed but more like I've accepted the fact that some people aren't meant to be. I wanted to be your everything, more than her your one and only. Not your last resort but the only one you saw above all, but I realized maybe I was asking for too much. So in a harsh reality I moved on. Who know's maybe its better this way! I can now love you in a different way. I cant complain about everything when I have to be grateful that I'm healthy! I have family that love me and great friends I can count on. Time is flying by so I've learned to appreciate the small things and be thankful for what I have. Next year would be here before you know it and soon I'll be 30 and buying wrinkle cream! Ahhh I don't event want to think about it! lol I'm hoping Santa brings me a sexy man to have beautiful babies with! This year will be about me and going after what I want, so lets see what this new year will bring!

In a very sleepy mood!

Weezy! xoxo

Mental Paralysis of Sorts!

It's been pretty quiet here on the forefront. School is on the backburner for a month. Yeah, a single month is their idea of a "Summer Vacation", whoopdie-fucking-do.
Brain has been overloaded with soap, soap ideas, soap design. It's crazy because out of all the ideas I have, not a single thing has been produced. That's not entirely true, that sentance was more of a reference to my actual product design. I've been making soap, and I've sold a few. But now I'm coming up to the point where I need to a) develop a cohesive line, b) develop packaging for said line c) sell my ass off.
Seems pretty simple, but other things tend to take up my brainpower. Today is my novel which I have been working on for a year, scrapped it and started a new one-- around the same genre, a couple of months ago. Problem with that, is that once I get to a certain point, I feel paralyzed and cannot write any longer. I don't want to potentially mess it up with some kind of nonsense prose. That's what I'm battling today.
Oh yeah, and my shortcomings as an actor-- highlighted by a certain audition I attended where they asked me to read for three different parts-- all of which I flubbed in one way or another. Now, I'm dealing with an insecurity that's more of the knowledge scale. Maybe I just don't know enough yet to jump in headfirst-- although it was kind of fun at the same time, it's the looking back at it that makes me feel a little bit foolish.
But not enough to deter me. Skipping my acting class today since my partner won't be around. Can't act without my partner, but I can pick up the zen advice that my teacher tends to give to every student. I feel slightly guilty, but hey, it's a holiday weekend!
Made the cutest, yummiest single-use sugar/soap scrubs. Gotta buy jars to store them, gotta do labels to sell them-- but above all--- gotta design it before I get it all. See, paralyzing.
I thought maybe a couple of days off would rejuvenate me. Instead, I feel like my mind is bursting with ideas and I feel so paralyzed. Stuck.

Could be the cabin fever... I've been a hermit since Friday.

-sk

Sweet, Saucy & Ohhh So Naughty………..

Wow I don’t even know where to start. I have not written something In here for soo long, and surprisingly so much has happened . Where to begin? Hmmm I know, Lets take it back 3 weeks ago where things started to look up for me. Ok so after my 10 day “Vacation” from work I finally go back to work and as you all know I fucking hate my job but for some kind of a miracle I actually found a reason to want to go to work. I meet someone, attraction at first sight is what I like to call it! Lol Anyway don’t get to exited my stories never have a happy ending. Lol. So here is this older very attractive guy talking to me, trying to get me caught in his sticky love trap! Lol Anyway he’s just this older bad boy type, super sweet and makes me feel loved like I’m the only woman in the room. Problem is this guy is technically still married (Separated from his wife but still married) Three kids, and 41 years old. I know what your thinking, HOLY SHIT LUISA! Lol I know but you have to understand that I have a history for falling for the wrong kind of guys. I want the impossible, what I cant have, I want the guys that don’t want me ect. The more I cant have something the more I want it & crave it. Why cant I give a nice guy a change or stop trying to start something with guys I know will never work out! Maybe I’m scared of love, scared to actually let someone love me, or worse me having to love someone. Scary I know! Lol I don’t know but whatever it is needs to stop. So back to my story, things moved way too quickly and I saw myself falling for this guys so of course I had to push him away, but it turns out he was just hurt his wife left him and he needed an escape and that escape was me. So that’s the end of my story, the always not so happily ever after. Lol But I’ve learned not to regret things cuz sometimes you have to just say fuck it, sometimes those are the best moments. Crazy how I still have the strongest craving for the worst thing for me. That’s life, eat a fucking peach cobbler and move on. So here I am once again back to square one. I’m trying to get my shit together, go to work, pay them bills and not sweat the small stuff.

Here’s a good advise; Don’t interfere in other people’s drama cuz you’ll get caught up in their bull shit too.

Well I’m fucking tired after a CRAZY weekend! Lol (No comment) So that’s all for now. Till I find time to write again at some other time. Love all you crazy fuckers who like to read my crazy stories! Lol A very tired Weezy

Good Night! xoxoxoxo

P.S. Janice that title was just for you! lol

Evil Bitches

Lesson of the Day,

So here is what I’ve leaned today;


Girls can be really really evil conniving bitches. Some girls will say and do anything to get what they want. Yes we all know that guys can be fucking assholes and heartless bastards, but most of them are so god damn stupid and ignorant that they don’t realize they are being assholes. Girls on the other hand are evil and malicious on purpose, they plan their evil schemes. I can be evil but not to the extent that some of these girls go to. For example some women think that a baby will bring couples closer but if he doesn’t love you now he never will. They trick these poor guys into getting them pregnant. If I ever trick a poor bastard with getting me pregnant it will not be to get him to stay or because it will make him want to be with me. Yes I will trick him because I will want a baby and then ditch the poor fucker, cuz all I would ever want and need from him is his sperm to get me a wonderful baby. Lol I know that’s crazy but that’s my point. Woman are crazy but the thing is that we all plan this shit but in the end most of it back fires on them. I knew woman were evil but did not realize it till I heard some crazy stories. Today I learned most girls probably will or most likely have cheated on their boyfriends! Second a woman knows what kind of man could be manipulated and how, and trust me she will learn how to do it. She will also find some power over you and use it against you all the time. I've planed out evil schemes and the've worked! but never something too exteme. Well I’m gonna stop there cuz I don’t want to give too much away but yeah I think I have been too nice! I need to step up by bitch game! Lol That’s all I’ve got for today, or better said that’s all I’ll say today cuz definitely there is a lot on my mind that needs to be let out before I explode Lol. xoxox



Weezy

Memorial Day

"Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, Too rude, too boist'rous; and it pricks like thorn."

I’ve been trying to write something all day but it seems I’ve lost all inspiration. Weekend was ok, went to one too many bbq’s. Ate way too much, and finally got that ice cream that I wanted. I spent way too much money, I had a fight, I cried, and lost all hope. I’m exited I have the whole week off but it seems like I will not enjoy it as much as I thought I would! Everyday I expect way too much and everyday my expectation fall short. You would think I would have learn by now, but I guess I just never learn. I will try and accept thing rather that convince the world otherwise. Just a little down today, no particular reason just same old shit as always. As it is Memorial Day, lets take a minute to remember and be thankful for all the troops, heroes, and fallen angels. Let’s be thankful for all that we have not sad for all the things we don’t. Time goes by too quickly and next thing you know you don’t realize how time just flew by. Well that’s all I have the strength for . Tomorrow is a new day, lets see how it all unravels. Wishing everyone Joy, Love & Happiness.

Keeping it Short & Sweet,

Weezy!

P.S. I hope John & Kate work it out, seems like everyone just lost hope on love lately. What ever happened to In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, 'til death do us part? Its like one bad thing and everyone is just calling it quits! What a shame! Anyway hope they work it out!
　
“Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

Blog Virgin

Well, I've decided to take the plunge and pop my own blog cherry! Honestly I don't even know what to write about. I come up with some topics every now and then but I never commit to writing it, I guess somehow I'm scared to write, like its something very intimate and I would be exposed for the world to see, and judge. Gosh, I don't even keep a journal or diary, I just find it hard to write my thoughts down . . . So this is my first attempt: Speaking of cherries, do you remember your first time? Was it with someone special or just someone you barely knew? Did you plan it or did it just happen? Was it what you thought it would be or were you surprised? My first time happened in the spring a few years ago, with someone I cared about and thought it wasn't really planned and honestly not as smooth or as enjoyable as I'd hope. I think we were both so nervous that it was over before we knew we had done it. We pent most of the night 'fooling round' I guess you would say, pleasuring each other in many ways without going 'all the way'. Tenderly caressing and speaking softly while we rested in between, (we usually 'made love' for hours, never rushed) and it was finally at the break of dawn, and our last round for the night, that we 'just knew' and went all the way. I remember how it felt to have my body exposed to someone else, to have them so close their skin was my skin and his heat match mine and the exhilaration of our bodies building momentum that was barely in sync and was over quickly, (more for him than me) and it hurt of course from not being able to relax, but it felt good to finally experience that delicious melding of bodies and souls. Although it was memorable I would only rate the sexual experience part of it as ok. Don't get me wrong, but every other time after that was exponentially better than the last. It is as though our bodies were made to pleasure each other. The sad thing about this, is not that we are no longer together, but that no one has been able to match the levels of pleasure I experienced with my first! My second simply had no clue, the third and my only ONS had been around the block, but still had a few miles to go, and my forth was very HOT and dirty but lacked soul. So I wonder, was I just spoiled with my first, or is sex better when you really know the person you're with? For me sex should be 50% of a relationship and the other 50% everything else. I guess sex is important to me, not just the physical enjoyment, but the deep connection you can developed with someone through it.

P.S. Was this TMI for my first blog lol? First rule of writing is to write what you know and what you're passionate about. But if I have offended anyone . . . you just don't know what you're missing lol !

*~Ms. Afterglow ~*

Remember When Part II

Mood: Sleepy

Currently listening to: Put It On Me by Ja Rule ft Lil Mo

Back By Popular Demand……

I have so many memories good and bad that I’m thankful for. They define who I am today and what I love about life. They also remind me what I love most about my family and friends. Some of my favorite memories are those of “forbidden” ones too, because the more I remember the harder it is to forger. I want to be able to look back and not only remember the bad but the good as well. Everyone has there own version on how things were supposed to be, but look back at your life and you’ll see that the best things were always the most unpredictable, the mistakes, the misunderstandings and the “wrong” things. Things Happen for a reason. So till I no longer want what I could never have and embrace the truth, I shall blog.

• I think all of my really close friends that come to my house a lot have probably seen my mom naked
  
• Going bowling in providence and having Phil completely beat everyone every single time!(Lets not include the my drunk bowling incident, I’m still trying to forget that night!)
  
• My sister’s obsession with the X-Files
  
• When we went to see The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Dar creeped up behind me and Jessica and scared the hell out of us
  
• Me, Bobby & Veronica walked out of a restaurant without paying
  
• Janice spilling acrylic powder on the rug, not once, not twice but three times
  
• “Cuidado Piso Mojado” “For Why” “The Cat is on Fire-El Gato Esta en Fuego” “Tu mami Es Muy Gorda”
• All of my Indecent Exposures!
  
• Me & Jessica tying to hit on dirty Mexican’s on Bergenline
  
• I couldn’t stop crying after I saw Broke Back Mountain
  
• When I pushed Eli off my bed
  
• When me, Jessica & Dar walked into the men’s bathroom at the movies and we were like “why is there a guy in here”
• All those fire alarm in South Hall at 2am
  
• Dar’s brother always putting his finger up my nose
  
• Tati’s long ass stories
  
• “Between me and you i wanna poke u in more than one way. fuck Facebook”
• Lena’s “Hello?” “Hello?” “Hello?
• Me and Jessica stold Dar’s car and took it for a ride
  
• When I thought I lost my phone but all that time it was under my bed
  
• Maurizio's cooking
  
• When I was late for chemistry I told Mr. Monahan I was hit by a car
  
• Pump It Up - Joe Budden
  
• “I Don’t Give a Fuck”
  
• Being in Little Shop of Horror's
  
• Having Dinner at Hosp
  
• Game Nights
  
• My Brother telling Dar she curses too much
  
• When Lena thought someone cut her hair
  
• Always having money to eat chinese food at lunch time
  
• Seems like senior year in high school there was always a party on the weekend and we were always getting drunk
  

Ok that's all I could remember for right now! I'm too tired to keep going! I'll write part III some other time! lol

Good Night & Sweet Dreams!

Special Comment on a Special Request: **Nelson was not my best kiss he was my most desirable kiss at the time****
Besides the all around “Best Lover” title has a different owner all together!

Weezy xoxo

Remember When?

Mood: Sad
Currently Listening to: It's Been a While - Staind
　
Some of my Favorite Memories,

• When Phil completely saran wrapped me in Sam’s Club and wouldn’t take it off the whole night. He took me to Walmart were the manager asked if it was a “Sorority” prank, then to Shaw’s were he told the cashier I was his adopted sister and had to be wrapped like that cuz I was crazy, then finally back to the dorms.
  
  
• Our High School “Cuban” Club! Olbidate! Azzuucaarrr! Cuba Libre! Lol
  
  
• Jessica’s “I GOT IT”
  
  
• When I told Maurizio I was pregnant
  
  
• “ Coca-Cola Hot Jam”
  
  
• My birthday dinner at the Cheesecake Factory junior year in college! We were like 25 people or more!
  


• Making Janice laugh so hard milk came out of her nose!
  


• Me going to Pathmark 1000000 times a day just to go see my boo NELSON! Lol (So far he’s been my best kiss)
  
  
• When Dar locked her car keys inside the back seat of her car & my dad was trying to get them out.
  


• Our Halloween Party
  


• “We are gonna do what the girls in the back always do, We gonna chill”
  
  
• Watching The Notebook with Darryl
  


• “Just Put it in my butt, my mother fucking butt”
  


• Brickways on Wickenden, East Side Pocket, Antonio’s Pizza.
  


• Our Spring Break Puerto Rico trip (having to drag our luggage across the park like 100 times) (oh and when my grandma told Anthony he needed to work out cuz he was too skinny)
  


• Going skinny dipping in Carmen’s pool
  
  
• Our Family’s Florida trip (Our DR trip was awesome too)
  


• Playing match maker with Phil & Jackie! And with Bob & Veronica
  


• “Sweater”
  


• Jessica’s “TELL ME WHY”
  


• “I Fucking Love Starbucks”
  


• Watching porn with Phil and all my roommates in Phil’s room and having Maurizio walk in with Chocolate fudge!
  


• Our High School Connecticut trip!
  


• “Beef Curtains”
  


• The JWU Wahooooooo
  


• “F7” (Dar that one is for you! Typing class)
  


• My sister walking right into a glass door in DR
  


• “Prank calling” Juan and having him call back cuz I didn’t block my number
  


• Dar getting mad drunk at china club and losing her shoes, falling, and trying to eat a pretzel off the street.
  


• “Liquor 43” “Thug Passion” “Malibu Pineapple” “Abuelita” Taking 12 Shots of Patron in one night!
  


• LETSSS GOOOOO……..(My & Phil’s Song)
  


• “Enrique” & “Fernando”
  


• Getting drunk on Mojitos in Havana Central
  


• “ OMG Luisa his dick was soooo small” lmao
  


• When Anthony & I got yelled at in class for laughing. ( In the same class me and Anthony fighting for the attention of Josh (We had the only crush on him) lol
  


• Paula’s stalker at the Grand Lux
  


• “You don’t know me bitch”
  
  
• Sitting in the Rec Room in South Hall
  


• My obsession with Michael Jackson, Christina Aguilera & Dawson’s Creek
  


• Breaking it down with Ashley to Footloose
  


• Having the girls drive up to Providence for my graduation(except Tati of course)
  


• Drunk dancing in Dar’s couch
  


• “Did you just call me Fat?”
  


• Visiting Eli in Boston
  


• Visiting Tati at Rutgers! ( although she never came to visit me at college! That hoe!) lol
  


• Singing Karaoke in Florida
  


• Banana King
  


• Sergio’s parties
  


• Making “Sex” noises with Chris
  


• Webster Hall
  


• Easter at AJ’s house
  


• A creepy guy kept holding my hand and asked me to marry him in Gonzalez & Gonzalez
  


• Our trips to the comedy club
  


• Our trips to BLVD East and our “talk to remember”
  


• Going to get Spanish food in Broad St.
  


• Breaking night talking to Deb at the front desk in South Hall
  


• “I Learned From the Best, I learned from Youuuuu.”
  


• “Bacalao”
  


• My Sister & Janice’s Obsession with Highlander & the Spice Girls
  


• Prom drama, the club & Seaside
  


• “Oh Shit Son, That’s my JAM!”

My Most Embarrassing Moment: Having my roommate walk in on me while having sex.

There were just too many to keep goin! But that's all for now! More to come later!

Weezy! xoxoxoxo

Love, Sex & Magic

Talk dirty to me….
　
Lets Talk about Sex! For some, sex is a science and for others is an art. There is so much we could talk about; stimulation of desire, types of embraces, caressing and kisses, biting, using your nails and or teeth, positions, slapping, moaning, oral sex, and don’t forget the big O! We could talk about our first time, how great or bad it could be. How you like it and of course, how it should be…….. Ok lets face it people there is nothing wrong with a little bump 'n grind if you know what I’m saying…. With the right person it could be magical. You hear it & See it everywhere. We all probably think about it minimum 13847357292028273654537292 times a day(or maybe that‘s just me) lol! Women love sex. In fact, some women think about it just as often, if not more, then guys. We fantasize constantly and at great length with great detail. We watch porn and we go to those little shops to buy little outfits(Just got a pink & black one) & toys (I’m a proud owner of a purple one! Lol) We probably get just as horny as the next guy.
We all have our preferences, how we like to start it off, the ride in between and of course the climax.
My kind of sex starts with a little playfulness(some teasing if you will) follow by full on foreplay. It can’t be lacking in passion or creativity either. He needs to make me feel sexy & comfortable cuz lets face it most women are a little self conscious when we are naked. That’s the time were we feel most vulnerable as well(at least for me). He needs to have that je ne sais quoi! He needs to pay attention to detail cuz that’s what matter most. Most women I know prefer all that stuff before the sex (the teasing of the breasts and and the licking of the nipples with your tongue, the fingering, the dirty talk, the role playing…. ect) for most of us intercourse doesn’t always do it.
He just needs to know how to take care of me! He needs to shut the hell up and just go down and eat it!(oh shit did I just say that out loud?) lol Hmmmm yeah like I was saying if he takes care of me than I’ll def return the favor! Lol

There is nothing wrong with a little sex here and there, but the best kind of sex is when you make love to someone you care about, and the worst is when you're trying to fill a void! Just remember to keep it safe kids! USE PROTECTION! lol
Sorry kids if I’m being too graphic but lets face it we all love it and cant get enough of it! Lol Anyway I wont bore you with too much info but my point was to start a conversation, a war or a civilized talk on sex. So lets Coffee Talk and share with us some of your sexual fantasies! Feel free to post some of your favorite, best and worst sex experience. Favorite positions, weirdest and most embarrassing stories you got. You share with me & I’ll share with you!

That’s all for now! I gotta go find some new batteries! Lol j/k! Or Am I?? wwwwwahahahahha

Till next time,
Your biggest temptation, and deepest desires! ;o)~ Your’s Truly, Weezy baby! Lol

P.S. I’m kind of shy, but I would like to work on is my dirty talking skills! I feel like and idiot when I try to do it! Lol (any tips?)
　
A survey by Marie Claire and Esquire magazines found that men prefer rear entry sex (doggy style), while women prefer the missionary position.

Friendship

Ok so I really didn’t have an interest to write again. I feel like people take my blog too literally or just misinterpret my words. I write what’s on my mind with no intention to hurt or judge anyone. Anyway this morning I wake up and start snooping around people’s pages and what not, so I came a cross this girls blog. She’s not really a friend just someone I went to college with and she’s just another face in the crowd to me. Anyway I was reading her blog and she happened to have a good point on friendship. What really constitute someone as a friend? An acquaintance? Or a BFF? Recently there has been these huge craze with Myspace and Facebook with people adding you and becoming your “friend”. Call me crazy but look at all your friends on Myspace and Facebook and ask yourself how many of those 300 people are really your friends? How many of them do you call often or trust? I recently had a girl request me as a friend but I honestly never really got to know her. I saw her in Pathmark and she totally pass by me and never said a word to me. I was like so why the fuck are we friends on Myspace??? Hmmm idk I thought that was interesting. It seems to be ok to add all these people as friends but some of them you probably never even had a conversation with. I guess is more like the more “friends” it seems you have the more popular you are? To me those people are probably the loneliest. I’m sure you’ll meet so many people thru out your life but only a hand full if you’re lucky will be with you for a lifetime. I’ve learn to try and not hold on too tight, let them go cuz the good one’s will always stay around. You have to stand clear of those fake friends, the one’s that only call you when they need something, or when you feel like the friendship is not mutual. You have to feel like someone is genuinely your friend because they like who you are or how they make you feel. Special friends as well as your significant other take hard work. You will see yourself doing things you don’t want to be doing, having them borrow things you will never see again. Having to compromise and most importantly swallowing your pride and having to say you’re sorry. They will disappear on you, diss you and probably not call you when you want them too. You will probably hate each other at one point, and feel like shit has changed. You will probably fight a bout the same boy/girl. Yes true friends will fight constantly and they will probably tell you shit you don’t want to hear but at the end of the day you know they have your best interest at heart. I’m know to always say the wrong things at the wrong times and for causing trouble too. But as a friend don’t I have the right to speak my mind as well? If something is bothering me don’t I have the right to say something about it, or better yet blog about it? A true friend will always accept and be there no matter how many crazy shit you get into or how many bad decisions you make. Being a true friend is accepting that you are both different, you will have different ideas and believes but at times you have to agree to disagree. Anyway my point is that I’ve never held a gun to someone’s head to be my friend. You are there cuz you want to be not because I’m making you. The door is always open as well, feel free to leave, breakup with me if you will. The same door will always be open if you decide you want to come in. A true friend will always find their way back to your heart no matter what you both been thru or how far the distance has been. I have hundreds of acquaintance, few friends and a hand full of bff’s. I always treasure those who have respect for me, who will do anything for me, who will defend me, and lastly someone who can share a quite moment with me. To be considered a bff not only do you get the best of me(And not for nothing but I can be fucking awsome and fucking halarious too! ;o)~) but you have to accept me at my worst as well(Yes I can get a little emotional and crazy!). You don’t have to be in constant touch with each other but as long as you send me a hi here and there just to let me know you’re thinking of me lets me know you care.


That’s all for now, I guess I was just missing some close and far away friends today.

With Love,

Weezy.

P. S. Boys/Girls have the bad habit of complaining about our “love interest”. He’s an ass, he did this and he did that. She's a cunt, she broke my heart blah blah blah. So as a friend what are we supposed to think? So we immediately judge them too, we think ok they are an ass and you shouldn’t be with him/her. but when you try and judge them too, or try to tell you how bad they are for you then you get mad and think we are being a bad friend. If you don’t want us to judge them then don’t complain about how bad he’s treating you or how fucked up she can be when you go back with them. As a friend we want what’s best for you and we try to give you advise only by what you tell us.


Sooo Tell me again, That we'll be Lovers and Friends, Sometime I wanna be your lover, Sometime I wanna be your friend……… (lol sorry this song just came to mind while I was finishing this blog! Lol)

What Would You Do?

Ok so you find out you have only a few years to live, who knows maybe months. So what now? What would you do differently? Would you go hide under a rock and feel sorry for yourself??? Quit your job?? Would you gather the courage to tell that one person how you really feel about them? Send everyone a letter telling them how much you love them??

My Bucket List (Top 10 Things I want before I die):

1. I feel so left behind these days. I'm 25 and by now i thought i would be married with at least 5 kids and maybe even be divorced! But Yeah before I die I would like to get married. I want the whole "White" Princess dress, and that whole "Fairy Tale" wedding with that whole happily ever after b.s. (If I only have months to live maybe I'll just pay someone to marry me! no? Oh well just a thought! lol)

2. I would like to go to Italy or maybe just take a long ass vacation overseas and explore. Maybe even set foot on each of the seven continents. I want to try and experience new things within each place I visit.

3. Experience a threesome. (This will be my husband's day before the wedding gift!) lol

4. I would like to throw a huge party and invite every one of my friends. Everyone I care about.

5. Passionately make love to someone & have someone passionately make love to me! ;o)~ ( WoW Is it me or is it getting hot in here? )

6. Eat everything and anything I want without feeling guilty.

7. Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally. I want to experience that crazy little thing called Love! (Hmmm this should be coming from both sides, cuz i've done the one sided love thing and it doesn't work!) lol

8. Go Sailing

9. Win the lottery even if I don’t get to keep the money, I just want to know how it feels to win it! lol

10. Be in a movie (Maybe have Vin Diesel play my lover! That would be awesome! Fuck that this is now my # 1! lol)

This bucket list was really hard to write. It’s hard to think of non material things you want that will bring you happiness. Anyway this is just a short list of things I would like to do before I die!


Another set of Confessions (Usher has nothing on me) lol:

1. I wish every single person who smokes deliberately everyday would get cancer. Just like women who get hit by their b/f or husband. If you stay with him, then yes you deserved that shit. lol some people should get what they deserve, what goes around comes around.

2. I'm a masochist! Deep down I feel like maybe I enjoy the pain. I always go back for more! ;o)~ ( I hope my husband is aggressive! I need a man that can put me in my place, Smack me up a little if you know what I'm saying! Fuck nice guys, they are just boring!) lol

3. I used to wish you the same pain you bestowed upon me, but deep down i never wanted to see you hurt. I would take all your pain away if I could.

4. I still feel angry at myself for being so stupid. (but like I said in #1 everyone gets what they deserve, maybe this is what I get after all)

5. You are not the only person I hated and thru under a bus, But just like our friendship fell apart and then back together so did hers and mine. You just took a lot longer.

Ok this is all I got for today! (My manager just totally read this! He now thinks i'm weird! lol but that's what he gets for being nosy!) lol

Stay tooned bitches till next time!

Weezy! xoxo

P.S. Dont give up on love people. You will find it when its right! Takes 10000 wrong tries to finally find "The One"

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,

Men and women are different, we think, we act, and we feel different about certain things. We wanted equality in the cense that we do not want to be looked down upon but looked as capable as men to do great things. Men have a greater physical strength and women can be more reliable, practical and logical. Which brings me to the point about how we both think so differently. Lets start with Sex. Most men feel like they have to fuck the whole world to feel like they are “MEN” Or to gain experience! Because the more you do it the better you are at it! Practice makes perfect right??? The more women you sleep with the better lover you are. Now lets apply this to a women, if she has the need to sleep around to gain “experience” well that girl is nothing but a hoe! Right? Most girl don’t have the need to fuck the whole neighborhood to “gain experience”. We are also more likely to sleep with someone because we have feelings for them not because we are horny. Now lets take “Friends with benefits” for example. For men this a person who is a “Friend” which the call upon to have sex or whatever, a booty call per say, same for a girl I guess. Ok so here is the difference. If a girl is sleeping with a guy and she finds out he has “feelings” for her when she doesn’t then she will break it off. If a guy knows a girl has feeling for him he really doesn’t give a fuck, he will keep fucking her and her best friend and everyone else he calls “friends with benefit” As long as he’s getting ass he doesn’t care who he hurts. A girl will usually have a booty call or a “friend with benefits” while a guy will have like five or six. See a girl thinks before she acts, usually probably over thinks things. A girl is thinking if he’s sleeping with me then he must have some kind of “Attraction” to me, but a guy will fuck anything that walks, he will fuck you then think about how wrong it was after, and will probably just keep on doing it. See most guys swear the are so “Real” and they tell the truth right??? Well they usually tell a lie before he fucks you then he tells u the truth right after. Like “I just want to make love to you” then when he’s done fucking you he’ll probably tell you some bull shit story. Like I said before you can’t make love to someone you don’t love, but if it gets her in bed with you then its ok to say it, as long as you clarify it after then it makes it ok. I guess the “Attraction” gets the best out of guys right?? Anything to get them ass, no matter who wrong it is. Girls just have to move on and get over it, and over them. Men always have some “great love” or some “ex-girlfriend” that they’ll never forget or shut up about. Oh but whatever you do, don’t tell him to get over it or over her! Lol oh boy! DRAMA! Lol You see guys claim they love this girl but why where you fucking me and ten different other women?? Guys always realize you lost a good one once they are gone. And a girl might not know how much better it could be. You will never find happiness unless you find happiness within what you already have. I’m just trying to speak My truth.

Over and Out.

Here are my top 5 confessions:

1. I never told you the whole truth because you never told me the whole truth. You have no idea what was said between us. We made a pact that day. (Like you’re not the only one she calls, at one point we thought it was a good idea for two enemies to unite. But I used her for my advantage cuz I could never hurt you, but I also never told you after I knew you will never have the same courtesy with me)

2. I never took that pill….

3. You’re indifference and lack of respect for me hurts more then your ignorance.

4. After all is said and done I will never look at you the same way.

5. I will not tell anyone, because I will not fight it, I don’t need your judgment.

There is sooo much more I wish I said and wish I had the courage to say those things still left to say.
　
Till next time,

Weezy Baby.