Just Like Before

What can I say that I haven’t said before? What else can I try that I haven’t tried before? What else can I make you see that you haven’t seen before? What mistakes can I avoid that I’ve made before? I don’t want you any less but time’s been cruel. I am as confused as I was a few months before. There’s nothing I want more than you. But selfishly wanting you this bad is what’s gotten me here before. I can let you into my bed at night because I can close my eyes but not my heart. I can sit here and lie to myself but at the end of the day I’m the one that ends up wanting more. What’s the point of me telling you that your that one I want when it’s gotten me nowhere before? Teach me how you do it so I don’t feel this way anymore. Show me how to walk away at night with no regard for my emotions. As much as its killing me to have you so close and not have you, I will NOT just let it be like before.


Weezy

Turning 26!

Just another blog for old time sakes!

So I'm turning 26 in a few days and like most people getting older is something I really don't look forward to. You would think life would get easier but in reality it just gets more complicated. Being a grown up sucks! I graduated college and you would think this was a big deal because I would have a better job with bigger opportunities but that hasn't happened yet. I work just to pay my school loans and endless bills. Work is the same old shit, just another broken record! I also gave up on the Idea of finding that kind of story book fairytale true love! It just doesn't exist! Looking back at everything Its not that my feelings have changed but more like I've accepted the fact that some people aren't meant to be. I wanted to be your everything, more than her your one and only. Not your last resort but the only one you saw above all, but I realized maybe I was asking for too much. So in a harsh reality I moved on. Who know's maybe its better this way! I can now love you in a different way. I cant complain about everything when I have to be grateful that I'm healthy! I have family that love me and great friends I can count on. Time is flying by so I've learned to appreciate the small things and be thankful for what I have. Next year would be here before you know it and soon I'll be 30 and buying wrinkle cream! Ahhh I don't event want to think about it! lol I'm hoping Santa brings me a sexy man to have beautiful babies with! This year will be about me and going after what I want, so lets see what this new year will bring!

In a very sleepy mood!

Weezy! xoxo

Mental Paralysis of Sorts!

It's been pretty quiet here on the forefront. School is on the backburner for a month. Yeah, a single month is their idea of a "Summer Vacation", whoopdie-fucking-do.
Brain has been overloaded with soap, soap ideas, soap design. It's crazy because out of all the ideas I have, not a single thing has been produced. That's not entirely true, that sentance was more of a reference to my actual product design. I've been making soap, and I've sold a few. But now I'm coming up to the point where I need to a) develop a cohesive line, b) develop packaging for said line c) sell my ass off.
Seems pretty simple, but other things tend to take up my brainpower. Today is my novel which I have been working on for a year, scrapped it and started a new one-- around the same genre, a couple of months ago. Problem with that, is that once I get to a certain point, I feel paralyzed and cannot write any longer. I don't want to potentially mess it up with some kind of nonsense prose. That's what I'm battling today.
Oh yeah, and my shortcomings as an actor-- highlighted by a certain audition I attended where they asked me to read for three different parts-- all of which I flubbed in one way or another. Now, I'm dealing with an insecurity that's more of the knowledge scale. Maybe I just don't know enough yet to jump in headfirst-- although it was kind of fun at the same time, it's the looking back at it that makes me feel a little bit foolish.
But not enough to deter me. Skipping my acting class today since my partner won't be around. Can't act without my partner, but I can pick up the zen advice that my teacher tends to give to every student. I feel slightly guilty, but hey, it's a holiday weekend!
Made the cutest, yummiest single-use sugar/soap scrubs. Gotta buy jars to store them, gotta do labels to sell them-- but above all--- gotta design it before I get it all. See, paralyzing.
I thought maybe a couple of days off would rejuvenate me. Instead, I feel like my mind is bursting with ideas and I feel so paralyzed. Stuck.

Could be the cabin fever... I've been a hermit since Friday.

-sk

Sweet, Saucy & Ohhh So Naughty………..

Wow I don’t even know where to start. I have not written something In here for soo long, and surprisingly so much has happened . Where to begin? Hmmm I know, Lets take it back 3 weeks ago where things started to look up for me. Ok so after my 10 day “Vacation” from work I finally go back to work and as you all know I fucking hate my job but for some kind of a miracle I actually found a reason to want to go to work. I meet someone, attraction at first sight is what I like to call it! Lol Anyway don’t get to exited my stories never have a happy ending. Lol. So here is this older very attractive guy talking to me, trying to get me caught in his sticky love trap! Lol Anyway he’s just this older bad boy type, super sweet and makes me feel loved like I’m the only woman in the room. Problem is this guy is technically still married (Separated from his wife but still married) Three kids, and 41 years old. I know what your thinking, HOLY SHIT LUISA! Lol I know but you have to understand that I have a history for falling for the wrong kind of guys. I want the impossible, what I cant have, I want the guys that don’t want me ect. The more I cant have something the more I want it & crave it. Why cant I give a nice guy a change or stop trying to start something with guys I know will never work out! Maybe I’m scared of love, scared to actually let someone love me, or worse me having to love someone. Scary I know! Lol I don’t know but whatever it is needs to stop. So back to my story, things moved way too quickly and I saw myself falling for this guys so of course I had to push him away, but it turns out he was just hurt his wife left him and he needed an escape and that escape was me. So that’s the end of my story, the always not so happily ever after. Lol But I’ve learned not to regret things cuz sometimes you have to just say fuck it, sometimes those are the best moments. Crazy how I still have the strongest craving for the worst thing for me. That’s life, eat a fucking peach cobbler and move on. So here I am once again back to square one. I’m trying to get my shit together, go to work, pay them bills and not sweat the small stuff.

Here’s a good advise; Don’t interfere in other people’s drama cuz you’ll get caught up in their bull shit too.

Well I’m fucking tired after a CRAZY weekend! Lol (No comment) So that’s all for now. Till I find time to write again at some other time. Love all you crazy fuckers who like to read my crazy stories! Lol A very tired Weezy

Good Night! xoxoxoxo

P.S. Janice that title was just for you! lol

Evil Bitches

Lesson of the Day,

So here is what I’ve leaned today;


Girls can be really really evil conniving bitches. Some girls will say and do anything to get what they want. Yes we all know that guys can be fucking assholes and heartless bastards, but most of them are so god damn stupid and ignorant that they don’t realize they are being assholes. Girls on the other hand are evil and malicious on purpose, they plan their evil schemes. I can be evil but not to the extent that some of these girls go to. For example some women think that a baby will bring couples closer but if he doesn’t love you now he never will. They trick these poor guys into getting them pregnant. If I ever trick a poor bastard with getting me pregnant it will not be to get him to stay or because it will make him want to be with me. Yes I will trick him because I will want a baby and then ditch the poor fucker, cuz all I would ever want and need from him is his sperm to get me a wonderful baby. Lol I know that’s crazy but that’s my point. Woman are crazy but the thing is that we all plan this shit but in the end most of it back fires on them. I knew woman were evil but did not realize it till I heard some crazy stories. Today I learned most girls probably will or most likely have cheated on their boyfriends! Second a woman knows what kind of man could be manipulated and how, and trust me she will learn how to do it. She will also find some power over you and use it against you all the time. I've planed out evil schemes and the've worked! but never something too exteme. Well I’m gonna stop there cuz I don’t want to give too much away but yeah I think I have been too nice! I need to step up by bitch game! Lol That’s all I’ve got for today, or better said that’s all I’ll say today cuz definitely there is a lot on my mind that needs to be let out before I explode Lol. xoxox



Weezy

Memorial Day

"Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, Too rude, too boist'rous; and it pricks like thorn."

I’ve been trying to write something all day but it seems I’ve lost all inspiration. Weekend was ok, went to one too many bbq’s. Ate way too much, and finally got that ice cream that I wanted. I spent way too much money, I had a fight, I cried, and lost all hope. I’m exited I have the whole week off but it seems like I will not enjoy it as much as I thought I would! Everyday I expect way too much and everyday my expectation fall short. You would think I would have learn by now, but I guess I just never learn. I will try and accept thing rather that convince the world otherwise. Just a little down today, no particular reason just same old shit as always. As it is Memorial Day, lets take a minute to remember and be thankful for all the troops, heroes, and fallen angels. Let’s be thankful for all that we have not sad for all the things we don’t. Time goes by too quickly and next thing you know you don’t realize how time just flew by. Well that’s all I have the strength for . Tomorrow is a new day, lets see how it all unravels. Wishing everyone Joy, Love & Happiness.

Keeping it Short & Sweet,

Weezy!

P.S. I hope John & Kate work it out, seems like everyone just lost hope on love lately. What ever happened to In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, 'til death do us part? Its like one bad thing and everyone is just calling it quits! What a shame! Anyway hope they work it out!
　
“Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

Blog Virgin

Well, I've decided to take the plunge and pop my own blog cherry! Honestly I don't even know what to write about. I come up with some topics every now and then but I never commit to writing it, I guess somehow I'm scared to write, like its something very intimate and I would be exposed for the world to see, and judge. Gosh, I don't even keep a journal or diary, I just find it hard to write my thoughts down . . . So this is my first attempt: Speaking of cherries, do you remember your first time? Was it with someone special or just someone you barely knew? Did you plan it or did it just happen? Was it what you thought it would be or were you surprised? My first time happened in the spring a few years ago, with someone I cared about and thought it wasn't really planned and honestly not as smooth or as enjoyable as I'd hope. I think we were both so nervous that it was over before we knew we had done it. We pent most of the night 'fooling round' I guess you would say, pleasuring each other in many ways without going 'all the way'. Tenderly caressing and speaking softly while we rested in between, (we usually 'made love' for hours, never rushed) and it was finally at the break of dawn, and our last round for the night, that we 'just knew' and went all the way. I remember how it felt to have my body exposed to someone else, to have them so close their skin was my skin and his heat match mine and the exhilaration of our bodies building momentum that was barely in sync and was over quickly, (more for him than me) and it hurt of course from not being able to relax, but it felt good to finally experience that delicious melding of bodies and souls. Although it was memorable I would only rate the sexual experience part of it as ok. Don't get me wrong, but every other time after that was exponentially better than the last. It is as though our bodies were made to pleasure each other. The sad thing about this, is not that we are no longer together, but that no one has been able to match the levels of pleasure I experienced with my first! My second simply had no clue, the third and my only ONS had been around the block, but still had a few miles to go, and my forth was very HOT and dirty but lacked soul. So I wonder, was I just spoiled with my first, or is sex better when you really know the person you're with? For me sex should be 50% of a relationship and the other 50% everything else. I guess sex is important to me, not just the physical enjoyment, but the deep connection you can developed with someone through it.

P.S. Was this TMI for my first blog lol? First rule of writing is to write what you know and what you're passionate about. But if I have offended anyone . . . you just don't know what you're missing lol !

*~Ms. Afterglow ~*