Bitter Cold

So I’ve decided not to give up anything for lent. I think I’ve given up a lot and a lots has been taken from me. Mom asked me if I was going to church today and I said no. Idk I feel like I just don’t believe in god anymore, I feel like he just let go of my hand. Yes I’m still angry, and yes I have to let go eventually but I’m not ready to let go yet. And about all this forgive and forget shit is just bull shit along with “people make mistakes“. I know exactly what I was doing and what I was getting myself in to, do you? Anyway I hope It was worth it. I won’t apologize for my feelings and you can't fucking tell me how I feel cuz unless you've been in my shoes you don’t know shit. I’m trying to rise above, get rid of the blackness that surrounds me, the vivid nightmares that follow me. I’m Trying to bring air into my lungs and maybe a ray of sunshine in this horrible black hole I live in. I hope the stinging pain fades and that time stops being a blur. Even though it hurts to remember I could never ever forget, and maybe someday I will forgive myself. I wish you the best of the best but how you brought me happiness and meaning you took it all way.
I forgive you.
Until the sun shines again and the cold fade way.
Weezy