AFTER THE STORM!

I've been up and down and upside down for so long that now that I'm standing straight I can't tell the difference. I'm out of the water but I still can't breathe. Everything is broken in pieces but it was never whole in the first place. The tears used to fall on the outside and now they fall within. Everything is in its place, nothing is missing but nothing seems right. I was hanging on a noose tiptoeing on hope but that was pulled from under me. I used to have nothing and now I have less. You want to disappear but the spot light is on you so you cant even hide. The mask is on, so from the outside the structure seems whole but inside there is nothing but chaos. Sometimes I still feel caught up in the storm like a phantom pain that lingers from the past. Afraid to move cuz you'll fall. Afraid to yell because nothing might come out. Afraid of the memories that haunt you, but terrified to lose them because that's all you've got now. I hold my breath because I’m afraid you’ll see my heart pounding thru my chest. Afraid to lose composure and breakdown. Time is no longer relevant, because you're stuck in the hands of time. The ride stopped but I keep spinning. So what can you say or what can you do when its all said and done? Its my fault for jumping into a whirlpool with nothing to old on to. The after effect are still going on so every wind knocks me back down. So many people around but I'm still alone. Something that I once seemed so sure to lose is now finally gone. There is nothing else to fear when everything you feared finally came true. Now that the storm is over I should be at peace but the storm is all I've know and all I've lived.

Patiently waiting for the sunshine after the rain.............

Weezy